BY JEFF THITOFF

Festivus was first celebrated in 1966, but introduced to the rest of us on December 18, 1997. The holiday, if you want to call it a holiday, has an official date of December 23.

Today is Festivus. I’ve got a lot of problems with these people…

Carson Palmer: We’re still waiting for you to show up.

Darren McFadden: Your McInjury-prone season has been McAnnoying…we all valued you too much.

Matt Forte, Jay Cutler, all Bears: A sophomore slump, a serious chump and a season-long dump. Lemon, Lemon, Lemon.

Michael Turner, Matt Ryan, Falcons brass: A 370 curse strikes Turner, Ryan never got going and a coaching staff that continues to make questionable decisions regarding injured players.

Brian Westbrook, Philadelphia: All signs pointed to him breaking down in some fashion. I missed all of those signs. I guess I should look in the mirror on this one.

Tom Brady: Teased us with the huge game against the Titans. I owned him in one league and thought I was a genius. That is the one league that I missed the playoffs.

Steve Slaton: In many drafts, those picking in the middle of the first round had a choice between Slaton and Chris Johnson. How many of the Slaton-pickers made the playoffs?

Jim Mora: Forsett’s better. Clearly. We all see it. Why don’t you?

Braylon Edwards: He was hot for one week after the trade. Now, I want to go Dennis Green on him: he is who I thought he was.

Thomas Jones: Only because I am wrong about you every year.

Jason Witten: You were supposed to be the top tight end this year. You just moved into ninth place for the season after passing Owen Daniels in Week 15. The last time Owen Daniels caught a pass was in Week 8. Do the math.

Adam Conn: I wanted to beat you so bad in the Experts Contest this year.

Now on to the feats of strength…