Tuesday Hangover: Belated draft wisdom

November 10 2009 one Commented

tuesday hangover
 

BY JEFF THITOFF

Josh Freeman came out of nowhere and scored 22 points. Jason Hill was a top receiver this week. Tight end Brandon Pettigrew caught seven passes for 70 yards a score. Totally random and unpredictable performances.

Things like that are tough to predict, but I have spent hour of research to discover the key to winning fantasy football.  Pop culture from the 1970’s.

That’s right, if you would have drafted based on what was groovy three decades ago you could be winning your league right now. With a nod to VH-1…let’s go back in time and create a cheat sheet for this year’s draft.

I used ESPN’s experts mock draft from August 20.

Round one: The correct choice? Gotta go with Rocky’s wife. Best player in the round is Adrian Peterson. Other choices could be “Some people call me Maurice (Jones-Drew)…” from Steve Miller Band’s “The Joker” or Ted (Michael) Turner.

Round two:  As 70’s TV dads go, the conversation about the best starts and ends with Mike Brady. Choice here is Tom Brady. If you were a fan of “Every Which Way but Loose” and “Annie Hall” actress Beverly D’Angelo, you could take a Carolina running back here.

Round three:  Need a receiver here. Let’s go with Reg Dunlop from Slap Shot (1977)…or Reggie Wayne from Indianapolis.

Round four: Who was the coolest animated dude in the 70’s? Freddy Jones, voiced by Frank Welker. Take Wes Welker here.

Round five: We’ve already used the Brady’s once, but they come into play here as well. In a three-episode marathon of a vacation, the multi-married and the steps run into Vincent Price. Using that logic, your pick is Vincent Jackson.

Round six: Need a tight end? Now is the best chance to get one, and where better to look than South Fork. Grab Dallas Clark.

Round seven: Ray Leonard won gold in ’76 and was fighter of the year in 1979. Roll the dice with Ray Rice.

Round eight: When the series started in 1979, he was simply the head of household affairs for Governor Eugene Gatling. Benson quickly moved up the ladder and eventually became Lieutenant Governor. A similar upswing for Cedric Benson, so grab him here.

So eight rounds in you have the best team in your league. You roll through the season, as long as you avoid trading for Lily Tomlinson.

One Response to “Tuesday Hangover: Belated draft wisdom”

  1. Bill Montgomery says:

    Not sure if that was spectacular or frightening. Either way, it appears to be staggeringly accurate. Wish you’d have had this intel at draft time, or I wouldn’t be languishing in 3rd place half way through the season. Let’s get the “good candy” out earlier next year!

Leave a Reply

  • Archives

  • Thitoff archive
  • Conn archive
  • Helbling archive


  • -->